What Is Foster Care And Why Is It So Important?
March 19, 2021
Helping Your Foster Child Feel Welcome On The First Day
May 14, 2021
As any parent of a teenager will tell you, things change once children reach the age of thirteen. Gone are the days of holding hands as you cross the street, snuggling with a bedtime story, and talking about anything and everything around the dinner table. Maintaining that close bond when raising a teenager often takes a bit more effort and understanding as time passes and your relationship evolves, but in the end, these same parents will tell you the rewards are great.
When you welcome a foster teenager to become part of your family, the bond you are forging is new and uncharted, but the challenges and rewards are the same for both you and the adolescent in your care. Know that establishing a secure relationship will take some extra work, but with love and support, you can break down walls and build a strong connection — and doing so may just make all the difference in the life of a soon-to-be young adult. Read on for helpful tips and advice for establishing a secure relationship with your foster teen.
Show an understanding for your teen’s unique situation.
Most teenagers in foster care arrive in survival mode, and many have built up walls as a means of protection from further hurt and trauma. Some have been neglected and have never known a healthy family life or loving parents. Others have a mother or father that loves them deeply, but this parent is going through a difficult personal situation that means they can no longer care for them at the moment.
In any situation, a teenager in foster care has been uprooted from their home, and sometimes siblings, friends and school, so it is important to approach any situation with empathy and understanding of your teen’s unique situation.
Regulate your emotions and model respect.
Like all children, teenagers in foster care deserve to grow up safe and protected, and caring foster parents can offer support and stability when needed the most. While structure and setting rules are a necessary part of parenting, there are times when foster teens may test you.
This is typically not out of spite, but as a means to see your reaction before putting their trust in you, especially if your foster teen has experienced verbal abuse and fighting at home. Be careful to stay calm and to not raise your voice. Modeling respect and allowing teens to have some control at home can also be helpful to curb challenging behaviors.
Strive to keep the lines of communication open.
Most of all, help your foster teenager to feel safe and nurtured by letting them know you are there and can be counted on to listen without judgement whenever they want to to talk. Sometimes, the simple act of looking someone in the eye and saying, “I care about you, and want to know about your day and how you are feeling,” can go a long way in developing trust and establishing a secure relationship.
For more information on how to become a foster parent in the state of Illinois, contact Camelot Care Centers today.
Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, and caring foster parents offer children support and stability when they need it most. At Camelot Care Centers, we specialize in higher-level foster care for children and adolescents that need extra support. We partner with our foster parents/homes to provide trauma informed care and additional services, including in-home counseling, parent support and training, tele-psychiatry, and therapeutic mentoring, to maintain children at the least restrictive, yet most appropriate level of care. Camelot Care Centers (“Camelot”) is a Child Welfare Agency.
