Helping Your Foster Child Feel Welcome On The First Day

Imagine being suddenly uprooted from your home and family, through no fault of your own, and forced to live with strangers. This may be a scary thought, but sadly, it is also a scenario that is real for some children. Foster care is absolutely vital, but that does not make it any less frightening in the eyes of a young child or teenager. As a foster parent, there are steps you can take to ease some of the uncertainty and worry, and make the transition a little easier for everyone. Here are a few tips for helping your foster child feel welcome on the first day.

Home Is Where The Heart Is

A home is more than a just place to live. While offering shelter to a child in need is an incredible gift, making that child feel at home goes beyond the simple act of opening your front door. Start by preparing a comfortable bedroom for your foster child or teenager before they arrive. On the first day, introduce them to everyone in the family. Then, show them to their room, and offer to help them unpack and get settled in. Afterwards, head to the kitchen for a snack (freshly baked cookies are always nice), and then take a tour of the rest of the house. When you show your foster child around, give them the freedom to explore and ask questions, discuss only the most important house rules, and take as much time as needed to get acclimated. Help them to know your home is their home too.

Set The Tone

Be mindful of your foster child’s unique situation and how they may be feeling. Many youth in foster care have suffered abuse, trauma and/or neglect, and they have never known a loving family or a secure home. Others have parents who love them but are struggling with personal issues that impact their ability to keep children safe and provided for. As a foster parent, it is your job to set the tone on day one in order to establish trust. Be sure to speak softly, show kindness, and avoid any coerced actions. Keep an eye out for signs that your child may be overwhelmed, and never force a hug, or insist they call you Mom or Dad. Gently offering your hand to a young child is fine, but if they refuse to take it or appear uncomfortable, don’t push it. Understandably, it may take some time to build a relationship, but being calm and considerate from the start will surely help.

As Time Goes By

It doesn’t matter if the foster care placement is long-term or short. Creating a welcoming environment takes a bit of effort at the start, and it should continue as long as the child or teenager is in your care. Hang their artwork and report cards on the refrigerator, include them in family photos on display throughout the home, and plan meals with their likes and dislikes in mind. Give children a say in family activities, and let them decide what they want to call you. The key is not to force the relationship or to make the child feel like a guest instead of a member of the family. If you provide love and support while parenting, and consistently strive to help your foster child feel at home, those bonds will grow naturally.

Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, and caring foster parents offer children support and stability when they need it most. At Camelot Care Centers, we specialize in higher-level foster care for children and adolescents that need extra support. We partner with our foster parents/homes to provide trauma informed care and additional services, including in-home counseling, parent support and training, tele-psychiatry, and therapeutic mentoring, to maintain children at the least restrictive, yet most appropriate level of care. Camelot Care Centers (“Camelot”) is a Child Welfare Agency.