Understanding Difficult Behavior In A Foster Child

All children act out now and then. According to Psychology Today, this behavior is a young person “attempting to survive in this complex world.” But what happens when a child’s world is far more complex than it should be? Being placed in foster care is a traumatic experience. The reasons why may be even more so.

Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, but sadly, this isn’t always the case. In fact, there are approximately 424,000 foster youth nationwide. Naturally, acting out can be a common occurrence for some foster children and teenagers. Here, we’ll discuss understanding difficult behavior in a foster child to help when challenges arise.

Why Foster Children Act Out

A child’s defiance may be a means to protect themselves from further loss by putting up walls and pushing you away. Other difficult behaviors can include acting withdrawn or overly sensitive, showing disrespect to parents, aggression and bullying, destroying property, lack of impulse control, and a disregard for consequences.

When a child acts out, it does not mean they are “bad” or that they “hate you,” regardless of what they might say. Foster children have no control over the situation they are in. When you consider what your foster child has experienced earlier in life, you can better understand the behaviors you are seeing now.

Managing Difficult Behaviors

Child welfare agencies like Camelot Care Centers offer therapeutic mentoring to help foster youth with anger management, coping, self-esteem, and social skills, but there are steps foster parents can take at home, as well. Children learn what they see, so foster parents should model appropriate behaviors and show respect and empathy in all interactions. Remember, in some cases, this may be the first time a child or teenager has a stable and healthy home environment. When responding to conflict, be sure to:

• Check yourself before you react: Always use a calm tone and demeanor. Avoid negative reactions, such as anger or sarcasm.
• Be consistent: Set clear rules and expectations and reiterate them when necessary.
• Establish consequences: Earning and losing privileges can be an effective way to discipline and teach consequences. Never use corporal punishment!
• Choose your battles: Children learn quickly how to test foster parents and push buttons. As long as the behavior is not risky, sometimes it’s best not to escalate a situation by taking the bait.

For very young children, other methods such as redirection or practicing time outs can also help diffuse and manage challenging behaviors.

Children end up in foster care through no fault of their own, and regardless of their history, they all can achieve individual successes and happiness in life with the proper care and guidance. Foster parents are greatly needed. For more information on how to become a foster parent in the state of Illinois, contact Camelot Care Centers today.

Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, and caring foster parents offer children support and stability when they need it most. At Camelot Care Centers, we specialize in higher-level foster care for children and adolescents that need extra support. We partner with our foster parents/homes to provide trauma informed care and additional services, including in-home counseling, parent support and training, tele-psychiatry, and therapeutic mentoring, to maintain children at the least restrictive, yet most appropriate level of care. Camelot Care Centers (“Camelot”) is a Child Welfare Agency.