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Choosing to foster a teenager is a wonderful decision for any family to make. While there are many rewards to fostering a teenager in your home, you may feel nervous about the unique challenges that could arise. Here are a few tips to successfully foster a teenager within your home, and to help your family with the transition.
- Understand And Be Prepared
Understand that your foster child may have experienced trauma far beyond their years before arriving to your home, which may cause some challenges. Know that if they act out against you, it more than likely is their way of acting out against their circumstances, and not you. Learn as much as you can about the child’s background. The more you can understand their past behaviors, the more prepared you will be if they repeat these behaviors in your own home.
- Remain Patient, Calm And Loving
While your foster teenager is bound to find a way to push your buttons, it’s vital that you remember to stay calm. Practice breathing techniques and try walking away from situations that may otherwise get you angry. Remind yourself that most teenagers who behave this way do so because they lack compassion and love in their lives. Remain patient, calm, and loving — in turn, your foster teenager will learn to bring down their walls and build trust.
- Establish Clear Boundaries And Rules
Once your foster child knows they are safe and loved, it’s important to use your parenting skills to establish boundaries and rules. Let them know that they are expected to contribute to the family in the same way everyone else is expected to pitch in. Let them know that extras such as a cell phone are earned through hard work, and that they can lose privileges due to their actions. Make your expectations clear and consistent, and if your teenager breaks family rules, follow-through with appropriate consequences.
- Communicate With Your Case Manager
It is especially important to keep your case manager in the loop if your foster child continues to have behavior issues. Document everything that happens with the child. This information will help in the future if there are ever instances where the court needs to get involved. Take advantage of the support your case manager provides during the entire foster process.
- Remember, They Are Still Kids
While your foster child may tower over you and look like an adult, they are still under 18, and still need the same love that any child craves. Many times, foster teenagers enjoy child-like things such as seeing the latest animated movie, visiting the arcade, or going out for ice cream. They may also have lacked the experience of these normal childhood activities due to their family issues or prior foster homes. Keep childhood alive and bond with your foster teenager over these simple activities.
While choosing to foster a teenager can be scary, it can be a great experience for everyone in your home. It can also be the start of a lifelong family bond, beyond the time spent in your care. Follow these 5 tips to make the most of your experience fostering a teen.
Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, and caring foster parents offer children support and stability when they need it most. At Camelot Care Centers, we specialize in higher-level foster care for children and adolescents that need extra support. We partner with our foster parents/homes to provide trauma informed care and additional services, including in-home counseling, parent support and training, tele-psychiatry, and therapeutic mentoring, to maintain children at the least restrictive, yet most appropriate level of care. Camelot Care Centers (“Camelot”) is a Child Welfare Agency licensed by the State of Illinois, a member of the Illinois Collaboration on Youth (ICOY), and is accredited by the Council on Accreditation (COA).
