Foster Care: 4 Traits Of A Loving And Stable Home
November 23, 2018
How To Show Compassion And Understanding When Your Foster Child Acts Out
December 7, 2018
Choosing to foster a child is one of the greatest gifts you can give. While fostering has many rewards, there are some unique challenges as well. Foster children who come from abusive homes may have issues with safety or security, leading to problem behaviors. Others may have a social-emotional development disorder, or academic difficulties in school. Read on to learn more about three common challenges you may encounter when fostering.
Problem Behaviors
Some children in foster care may display problem behaviors, such as acting disrespectful, lying, or stealing. They may test authority by talking back or by blatantly refusing to listen. It takes time to help a foster child open up to you and see you as a family member and not another adult temporarily in their life. To manage this behavior, work on becoming resilient and patient.Give your foster child one instruction at a time, as to not to overwhelm them. Lastly, praise your foster child enthusiastically whenever possible.
Rely on the help of your foster care agency to point you in the right direction. Consider taking the child to counseling to help talk issues out with a professional. Make sure the counselor you chose is someone the foster child can open up to and trust. While you want to be kind, also be clear about boundaries, rules, and expectations. If you tell your foster child they will lose their phone if they keep refusing to do chores, then follow through and take the phone away. It will take work to establish new rules, but soon your foster child will catch on and learn to make better choices if he wants better consequences.
Social-Emotional Difficulties
Most foster children come from homes where they witnessed negative and unhealthy behavior. They may have learned to adopt a “survivalist”mentality, and lack certain politeness in their mannerisms. A healthy social-emotional child understands how to interact with adults and others, and to process their own emotions. Those who struggle may have difficulties ranging from having social anxiety to bullying and aggression. Keeping your head on straight is key in these circumstances; you never want to put your own family at risk.
If you see signs of social-emotional distress, seek help as soon as possible. Understand that your foster child will experience an adjustment period when they first move in. Learn their family history to help you better understand where they are coming from and how you can be sensitive to any past traumas.
Academic Difficulties
Many foster children struggle to do well in school. The instability of a family home means that your foster child was probably more concerned about basic survival needs over doing well in the classroom. They may also have a mental or developmental disorder that requires extra help and possible medication. Seek the help of a professional psychiatrist if needed.Reach out to the school about resources available to help your foster child thrive at school.
While providing foster care presents challenges, remember that as foster parents, you are not alone. Use the resources of your foster agency and reach out to the child’s physician for help. Remember that it takes a village to raise a child. By practicing patience, sticking firmly to rules and expectations, and praising good behavior, you will help your foster child not only survive but thrive in your household and beyond.
Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, and caring foster parents offer children support and stability when they need it most. At Camelot Care Centers, we specialize in higher-level foster care for children and adolescents that need extra support. We partner with our foster parents/homes to provide trauma informed care and additional services, including in-home counseling, parent support and training, tele-psychiatry, and therapeutic mentoring, to maintain children at the least restrictive, yet most appropriate level of care.Camelot Care Centers (“Camelot”) is a Child WelfareAgency licensed by the State of Illinois, a member of the IllinoisCollaboration on Youth (ICOY), and is accredited by the Council onAccreditation (COA).
