How To Show Compassion And Understanding When Your Foster Child Acts Out

All children have their moments of acting out. For foster children, this behavior may happen more often than not. While you cannot control if and when your foster child will act out, you can choose how you respond to it. Learning how to show compassion rather than quick judgment is key to building a bond and maintaining boundaries with your foster child. Here are a few ways to help you show compassion when your foster child acts out.

Use Praise When Deserved

Some children act out because they believe negative attention is better than no attention at all. Be sure to take notice and give praise for moments where your foster child deserves it. Pick real, specific moments to praise them on, such as, “I noticed how you helped your younger brother put on his jacket today. That was so caring of you!” Keeping your praise authentic means that your child will work harder to earn it. They will also understand where they did right, making them more likely to repeat those positive actions in the future, rather than acting out.

Practice What You Preach

Remember that children are always watching. When you get upset, do you act enraged and hurtful toward those you love? Reflect on your own responses to those who anger you. When you start to feel upset, slow down, take a deep breath, and walk away from the situation. Calmly talk to the person who upset you when you are in the right mindset. Foster parenting isn’t always easy, but when you keep your cool and stay in control, you are teaching your foster child to do the same.

Active Listening And Empathy

When challenges arise and your foster child is upset, take the time to show you are listening. Say words such as, “I hear you right now,” and, “Wow, you are upset — what happened?” This shows that you want to hear your child and help meet their needs. By actively listening and showing empty, you can help to diffuse and resolve most any heated situation. Remember that the holiday season can be especially tricky for foster children, so help them by showing extra compassion, love and patience during this time of year.

Forgive And Forget

We all make mistakes. How we treat others who made the mistake is key. When your foster child makes a mistake and reacts poorly, talk it out with them. Remind them of your expectations, but encourage them to keep trying. Remind your foster child that it is okay to make mistakes as long as we learn from them and try better next time. After all, compassion starts at home.

Every child needs and deserves to grow up safe and protected from abuse and neglect, and caring foster parents offer children support and stability when they need it most. At Camelot Care Centers, we specialize in higher-level foster care for children and adolescents that need extra support. We partner with our foster parents/homes to provide trauma informed care and additional services, including in-home counseling, parent support and training, tele-psychiatry, and therapeutic mentoring, to maintain children at the least restrictive, yet most appropriate level of care. Camelot Care Centers (“Camelot”) is a Child Welfare Agency licensed by the State of Illinois, a member of the Illinois Collaboration on Youth (ICOY), and is accredited by the Council on Accreditation (COA).